No Room for Pornography in Marriage
By Frank Shannon
? 2004 Brutally Frank, Inc.
?. . . it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants. It is a grave offense.?
Catechism of the Catholic Church , 2354
Before I was married this past October, I'd hear regularly, ?Why do you bother defending marriage when you?re not even married?? I?m also not a priest, but I ferociously defend the priesthood. I?m 46 years beyond in utero status, but I?m a committed defender of the unborn. Whatever the case, insights are insights, and they usually come from observation, which, when done with some discernment through eyes of faith, oftentimes prove valuable.
One such observation comes from years of being exposed to a good deal of less-than-discreet talk in the workplace, in locker rooms, and other venues. Nothing, it seems, is sacred these days, including marriages, judging from what people are willing to allow into their relationships. We?re not just talking about marriages in general here, but seemingly ?Catholic? marriages as well. Bad enough that adultery afflicts some Catholic marriages, and that artificial birth control is welcomed into far too many sacramental covenants. When pornography, too, is included in a conjugal relationship between a husband and wife, it brings with it consequences as potentially destructive to a marriage as any other alien interloper. I?m personally aware of two marriages which ended in large part because of pornography.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church (2354) condemns pornography as ?a grave offense . . . because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants.? The consequences of pornography are, in fact, contrary to the many blessings that God wills for us through His gift of the sacrament of matrimony. ?Marriage,? declares the Catechism (1609), ?helps to overcome self-absorption, egoism, pursuit of one?s own pleasure, and to open oneself to the other, to mutual aid and to self-giving.? Nothing can more clearly exemplify self-absorption, egoism, and self-pleasure than one?s willingness to make vulnerable one?s marriage to the evils of pornography.
So why is pornography allowed to intrude into a marriage? For anyone engaged in a properly sacramental regard for marriage, the words "What were you thinking?" might come to mind. I?d liken it to someone living alongside a beautiful stream but using it as a toilet. While one spouse might initiate its inclusion, suggesting pornography as an ?enhancement? to a couple?s sex life, both spouses are culpable. One spouse cannot initiate that to which the other does not agree. Late night commercials for pornographic video stores, which also advertise other prurient accoutrement among their wares, are obvious in their targeting of couples as a market. The fact that so much money is expended on such expensive marketing efforts makes evident that such a market exists, and is indeed thriving.
For the truly serious couple, devoted to each other, to their vows, and to the higher level of holiness into which they entered with Christ at the altar, God provides everything necessary for a blessed and happy conjugal life. ?God who created man out of love,? states the Catechism (1604-1605), ?also calls him to love - the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being. Since God created him man and woman, their mutual love becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves man. Man and woman were created for each other: it is not good that the man should be alone.? Thus, with everything necessary to pure conjugal love being bestowed by Christ through His Holy Spirit in the graces received at the altar, any alien interloper or entity allowed to intrude into the conjugal relationship only serves to adulterate and pollute what should be a pure reflection of Christ?s love for His bride the Church. What should be ?of God? should be zealously defended against influences of this world, lest they become worldly and pass away with this world in its time rather than last forever, as do all things that are of God.
Frank Shannon is a third degree Knight of Columbus, a member of the Catholic Press Association, a Tampa Tribune columnist, and has been published in a number of Catholic publications across the country.
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